Thursday, June 29, 2006

Gloom

Gloomy me. That was yesterday. This led to some severe soul searching, with repurscussions on chocolate store in the fridge. Depression is sweet’s enemy!

But ya. Though my state of depression was "been there, done that"; this time I took it to task. Initial symptoms were battled with toffees, but worsened conditions led to gorging of chocolates ( I also realized that I can eat the nut chocolate ad infinitum – I dislike the monotonous taste; I need it to be chuckling and cracking and oozing with delight!) Inane amounts of orkutting, random blog reading later, I was still clueless how to combat it.

Second step was of course to take people down with me. Let me elaborate – I wouldn’t be gloomy if I secretly don’t desire my friends to fuss over me! But being friends and not telepathic antennas, my reticence came in the way. I think I managed to garner some positive response from only two people! One was the devil himself.

But of course, heightened melodrama requires solo performance. So out I went, ditching the online shoulders for good. Pictured myself: under the boughs of a big cherry/apple tree, moping in gloom, giving special attention to my Gloom, irrespective of the falling cherries or apples respectively. Smiling at my colleagues, I sneaked out of my office (of course, wondering: C'est la vie!!) to the nearby fields.

Out I go: there is sunshine, the first conspiracy of nature against my Gloom. But I try to harbour it, and prolong it, and garnish it with immediate thoughts of a disappearing cpi and a downhill spi. Feet drag along stony trails, and butt groans because of the 3 hour cycling escapade of the previous day, but I go on, my Gloom deserves this sacrifice.

What happened afterwards is a pathetic anticlimax. Although this time, I saved myself the floodgates, I often wonder what gets at me!

PS After Midnight's Children I can no longer overlook the emotional quotient mixed with my gastronomical delicacies. All 6 varieties of spices make it to any dish I make, sometimes a loud aauchh following the chilli packet. But I eat what I prepare nevertheless, and suffer from a confused mind the entire day. And with all the nostalgia and longings I stir in, I know now why I straight doze off after my dinner :-(